Good Enough
by bkaddictjk
Summary: It's hard to feel good about yourself when you're surrounded by tall, dark, and handsomes... and smart and talented and rich and... It's hard to feel good about yourself when you're best friends are James Potter, Sirius Black, and Remus Lupin. It's hard to feel good about yourself when you're Peter Pettigrew. Oneshot. Muggle AU. Reviews are appreciated.


I glared.

The Japanese homework glared back.

My pen was lying uselessly next to the damned thing, and I glared at everything and life before throwing the pen – hard. It hit the wall with a pathetic _clang_ and rolled to a stop under my chair _just_ out of my reach. Life sucked.

My papers blank, I walked over to my bed and collapsed. When was I ever going to use the stupid language? Why did it matter to me if _Kaoru-san_ wanted to be a _genojing_? It was hard enough to just keep up with English without adding a whole new level of nonsense.

 _Or maybe,_ an unsettling voice whispered in my ear, _you're just bad at everything. No one else seems to have this much trouble with their schoolwork._

I groaned and closed my eyes. The stupid voice was back.

Of course, the voice voiced the truth. It always did. I was balls at everything I tried. Depressing, even more, was the fact that the three people I consider my best friends are bastard geniuses. My "brothers" that made me want to kill myself. Loved them like hell though, bastards. They grew on me.

I must have dozed off because the next thing I remember was the door to my room crashing to the floor with a cringing crack.

"Pete," James greeted me unceremoniously as if he hadn't just bashed down my door instead of opening it like a normal person, "how are you this fine day?"

James just stood there looking like an A-list actor as I shook myself awake and suppressed my desire to kill him.

"The weather sucks and I hate myself," I muttered. "Why are you even here? Don't you have a super hot girlfriend and a perfect life to be busy in?"

James flippantly dismissed my attitude. "Don't be bitter," he said, "Lily's having a girl's night out with her friends. I figured that we could do something as well, just the four of us. You, me Remus, and Sirius, just like the old times before I got a lady."

I grudgingly grabbed my jacket, no use pretending to fight him. "You got a girlfriend three weeks ago," I muttered. "Are Remus and Sirius okay with this? They're still in their honeymoon stage, Prongs. Don't mess it up."

James pushed me out of the house, waving a wad of cash until a cabbie pulled over. "Don't worry about it," he said.

I forgot to mention, James is stupidly rich. Honestly, if I didn't value him as a friend so much, I'd hate him.

"Hey," James said, "I noticed that you had your Japanese stuff on your desk."

Embarrassment and self-pity surged inside. I said some choice words to Perfect Potter.

James shot me a glare, "I just wanted to say that I wanted to help, ungrateful bastard. I know you hate that stupid subject."

Damn him for being so freaking likable. I have to say that I was touched. "You suck at teaching, Potter." I show my appreciation in strange ways. "John Humin got a 56% after being tutored by you in math. Poor kid almost got held back."

James shook his head. "That wasn't my fault. He didn't even try!"

"Moony got Humin a hundred when he tutored."

"Moony's a fucking Anne Sullivan then, isn't he?" James said darkly. "Seriously, though, all of us, even Sirius, would help you if you asked."

I sighed. It was one of those moments. James was obviously pushing for it. Having a girlfriend made him more prone to talking about feelings and stuff. Before Lily, he was more for the 'punch first, talk later' approach. Punching makes everyone see sense, James had said on more than one occasion.

What sucked the most was that Sirius, Remus, and I couldn't even rag on him about it. The talking thing actually works. A few sessions with the wannabe therapist and Sirius stood up and left Grimmauld Place. The timing sucked, of course. Sirius only has a few months before university, and he's got no way of paying for it now, but at least he's not a moody, brooding, downer anymore. Say what you will about Sirius Black, but he has a flare for dramatic exits.

It doesn't really matter. I don't think any of us will go on to higher education, not even smart, studious Remus. His marks may be perfect, but universities aren't looking for penniless young men doors away from death due to an incurable disease. The only reason he got an education at all was because of crazy old Dumbledean's soft heart.

As for me, well, I'm too dumb to go to university. Don't know what I can do without a degree in something, though. I'm about as hopeless as you can get.

"I'm a lost cause James," I said sadly. "I'm not good at a single subject, which is devastating because I'm not particularly talented in any other area either. It's not like I'm interested in anything, and I don't know what I want to do with my life. I'm a failure."

James frowned. "I don't know what I want to do with my life either. Stop being so dramatic, you're acting like Sirius."

I scowled. "Be real, Potter. You don't know a thing about being a failure."

He was annoyed. "Fine, my life is freaking perfect. I still think you're being too hard on yourself. You're a nice guy. You don't always have to be good at something, you know."

The cab stopped. Sirius ran out hysterically. Sirius did everything hysterically.

"Remus needs to go to the hospital!" he said hysterically. "I think he's coughing to death."

James hit him on the head. "My mum's a nurse, you idiot. Of course, if Remus is actually even hurt."

Remus came outside, looking completely fine. "Remind me," he asked dryly, "why do I date him when I'm clearly more superior?"

I grinned. "He's pretty."

"That he is," Remus agreed resignedly. "What's up, Peter?"

"Nothing much," I said, ignoring the tension radiating from James. "Shall we go?"

We had a great time that night. We had meaningless fun, just walking down the street. We got some ice creams, walked around the bookshop at Remus's insistence, got chased out of the said bookshop for Sirius's indiscretions.

Sirius was unrepentant. "That old fart was completely unreasonable. He didn't have clearance to throw us out! Nowhere do the store regulations say having a book-ball fight is prohibited."

"Like that's the only thing you did," Remus groaned. "I can't believe you got us banned for life. If I didn't like you, I'd really hate you."

Before Sirius could comment, a sneer came from behind us. "It's a surprise to see you illiterate dunderheads come out of a bookstore. Are you all lost?"

It was Regulus. We all had different reasons for hating Regulus. James always said that was because there were so many deplorable things about him. I can't say that I disagree.

Out of the four of us, Sirius hated him the most. Regulus and Sirius were brothers, and Regulus was the family favorite. The tension grew throughout the years, Regulus keeping tabs on his brother for his authoritarian parents, and Sirius breaking every rule in the book to spite him.

Regulus finally won the attention contest last year by landing on the Dean's shortlist for Valedictorian. Not to be beaten, Sirius retaliated by nearly getting expelled from the school.

We don't talk about why. We never talk about why. Whenever we do, Remus turns into an ice sculpture and Sirius breaks whatever he's holding in his hands.

We do talk about the aftermath. We talk about how the Dumbledean saved Remus from getting arrested by the authorities, how James was so scared he turned into a pale shade of ghostly blue, and how Sirius got into a very public screaming match with his mother in the middle of the Great Hall, during which he publically outed himself, got slapped by his homophobic father, and acquired a boyfriend, in that order.

We talk about how Sirius went home for his suspension and returned not two days later with a terrible black eye and a cheerful announcement regarding his disownment from the house of Black. To which James offered him a home, and Remus offered him a date.

One thing we never talk about his how Sirius never talks about Regulus. This was the first time the two brothers crossed paths since the highly public disownment of Sirius Black.

"Hello Regulus," said Sirius. "It's also a surprise to see you here. I'd have thought that as the only kid left to continue the family name you'd be busy breeding with the female spawn of mum's choice by now."

"Having difficulty reading the signs? It says left for the soup kitchen. Why else would a homeless, penniless, unemployed idiot be here in the first place? Having fun leeching off of your so-called best friend?" Regulus asked cuttingly.

I don't know what came over me, but in that moment, I hated Regulus Black. "He is," I said snappily, "looks like neither of you will need to work a day in your lives. Of course, Sirius can now live without the threat of being disowned hanging over his head every time he steps a toe out of line, but we can't have everything in life."

I felt a twinge of pride as Sirius raised a grateful eyebrow. Who did Regulus think he was, thinking himself better than Sirius anyway?

"Shut up, you little rat!" Regulus snarled. "God, I don't even know why you're friends with a loser like him," he spat to Sirius. "These are the people that you left your family for?"

That lifted my mood none. Feeling sour, I turned away and stalked off. I've never been much good in situations like this anyway.

I could hear Sirius's voice growing louder and louder as I walked. Leaving my friends to their fight, I sat on a rusty park bench and waited, wallowing in self-pity. The disgraced dude was more proud of his life choices than I was, the pity party was justified.

Remus approached me quietly over an hour later. The other two were probably spying on us. Remus was the only one who knew how to deal with these kinds of situations, after all. Well, let him try, I thought childishly. I wasn't going to stop my pity party, no matter what conversation bomb he dropped.

"Regulus got arrested," Remus said conversationally.

I blinked. That was impressive. My resolve broke at once. "What?"

"Long story short," Remus said, "Sirius started a fist fight. A cop broke it up. Reg got arrested."

He was good. I found myself interested despite my gloomy mood. "Is Sirius in jail again?"

"Nah," Remus said. "He's waiting for his cue behind that tree. He was lucky this time, the cop liked the look of him, and we all know who the better looking Black is. Sirius Black now has a brother in jail and a hot date tomorrow."

"You're okay with that?" I asked. "Aren't you two dating?"

Remus shrugged. "He's no use to me in jail, is he? It's okay. He was doing the right thing, defending you and all; I forgive him."

I was surprised. Remus was the nice one, sure, but if a someone made eyes at Sirius… Well, I don't really know what happens after, they never try twice.

"How are you, Peter?" Remus asked nicely.

"Not too good," I admitted. Remus was smart. He listened. "I feel stupid. I feel like there's nothing I'm good at. I feel useless. The usual."

Suddenly, James and Sirius were there. Strangely, I didn't mind. It felt nice.

"Well, er," Remus coughed awkwardly, "cheer up."

Amazing as he was with getting people to start talking, Remus was never the best at expressing feelings, or continuing conversations, or just giving advice in general.

"We'll be here for all of space and all of time," Sirius rambled. Out of the two, Sirius was definitely more expressive. "I would die for you and kill for you, don't be sad, you're awesome –"

I rolled my eyes. "Come on, Sirius, Remus is right here. At least _try_ to be discreet about being madly in love with me."

As I just sat there with my friends, nothing else mattered. So I'm not smart or rich or good at anything. I had one idiot friend who got his brother arrested for me. I had another loser letting his boyfriend date someone else for me. I had a loony willing to waste his time attempting to tutor me.

Good enough.


End file.
